You Just Wait.....

Sitting my friend's backyard in an otherwise peaceful neighborhood, we could hear the bass bumping from a fancy sound system.  "Know how I know my son is home?" my friend sarcastically comments.  "Your friend who owns the store that sold him that sound system took total advantage of him,  He had a budget of $500 and he spent over $900!"

"Mom, I'm home (duh!) but I'm leaving!" he yells from inside the house.  The back-and-forth negotiations ensue.  He believes he clearly informed his parents of his intentions and should not have to be home until midnight.  His parents do not recall said incident and feel since they have to get up and work in the morning he should be home earlier.

"Be home by ten unless we call you and tell you otherwise and don't say a word about it or you are not going at all!" was the final word.  "You just wait.  This is what you have to look forward to in 17 years." my friend informs me.

"You just wait."

Listen, I am the queen of waiting at this point.  I sit and wait every day to hear that my son has grown, needs less oxygen to breathe efficiently, tolerates his feeding with a reasonable amount of residual in his belly, can go home soon.  I can wait with the best of them.

This typical encounter I happened to be present to witness this evening got me thinking.  What am I waiting for?  What do I hope and dream about for my own son?  I can only hope to do as good of a job raising my son as my friends have, but what do I envision Jackson being like as he grows up?  One thing I have learned from having several friends who have raised their child/children up into high school is that you only have control over your actions and decisions as a parent.  You cannot control the personality that your child is born with.  Every baby is a person with unique personality traits that are just waiting to come out.  What is Jackson going to be like?

"You just wait."

Right now he is the sweetest little person I have ever met.  I mean, seriously tiny little person.  Yes, we are proud he is 4 pounds 5 ounces now and he has grown a full inch in the past 12 days, but let's just go ahead and admit the fact he is pretty darn small.  Most babies at his gestation are bigger than he is.  He has a significant amount of growing to do.  The nurses all seem to agree, he is really cute (duh again!) and feisty.  Will he always be small?  Will he have to fight to keep up with his peers?  Will he always be a feisty person?  Will being a premie make him always a fighter?  Will he continue melt my heart in the years to come just by stretching out and showing me his adorable foot or yawning sweetly as he is woken up from his most recent nap?  Only time will tell.

"You just wait."

Will Jackson come home and be a healthy baby and toddler after this ordeal or will he spend the next several years at the doctor's office?  Will we be nervous parents or chill out and let nature take its course?  Will he be a fussy baby or an easy baby?  Will he throw tantrums in the grocery store but act like a complete angel at home?  Will he be a picky eater or love everything we give him?

"You just wait."

Will Jackson enjoy golf and become a talented player like his daddy?  Will he play competitively and let Colin be a "daddy caddy"?   Will he snowboard like his mommy and daddy and cause us to spend thousands of dollars on season passes and gear each year so we can spend family time at the mountain with the rest of Bend on the weekends?  Will he decide to play sports that we approve of, such as soccer, basketball, and track or will he fight us and want to play football and wrestle?  Will he do well in school and live up to his teacher mommy's expectations?  Will he love reading as much as his mommy and daddy did when they were young?

"You just wait."

Will Jackson be a mama's boy?  Will he love Boston, Blind Melon, and Tool like mommy or reggae and hip hop like daddy?   Will he resent us and pull away in middle and high school?  Where will he want to go to college?  Will he want to go to college?  How will we pay for college?  Will he be a successful adult and contribute something great to society?  With a name like Jackson William Morrison, I think he can do whatever he sets his mind to.  Supreme court justice, army general, even President!

I can't wait!

The miracle of all this is that we have not only made a baby, we have created a person.  Jackson is an individual and we only have so much control over who he is.  It is the old nature vs. nurture debate.  We fully intend on providing a loving and supportive environment for him to grow up in.  We plan to teach Jackson good morals and values.  He will be educated and his learning will be supported above and beyond what he will receive in public school if necessary.  However, Jackson is unique and we really have no way of knowing the path he will choose in life.  All we can do is our best, and wait.

He is worth the wait.