Silver Linings

**********WARNING**********

This blog post features content that may be offensive to readers who support negativity.

There are two ways to look at the world.  We all seem to know this is as the glass half empty or glass half full perspective.  I think what people may not realize is this is a choice.  No one is genetically predisposed to be a negative person.  It is simply a choice made to dwell on bad things.  If you make an effort, you can change your perspective and choose to look at the positive side of life.

You don't have to believe that everything happens for a reason, but I do.  If you really think about it, something good always seems to come from bad.  Without darkness we cannot appreciate the light.  We all have to face adversity so we can build character and become stronger individuals.  If we all just sailed through life, how would we ever appreciate what we have?  Shouldn't some things be earned?  In my opinion, yes.

On the surface, Colin, Jackson, and I have suffered through a tragic ordeal.  It is clear that we are not alone.  Many women deal with preeclampsia, premature birth, and loss of the experience of the birthing process.  One in ten babies are born premature and have to spend the first days, weeks, or even months of their lives in the NICU.  In the grand scheme of things, I did get pretty sick but I made it out alive.  Jackson has a fight ahead of him, but he has some advantages that other premies don't have.  

We are faced with a choice.  Ultimately, our mental well-being is depending on how we choose to process what is happening to us.  People who figure out that they cannot worry about what is out of their control tend to live longer, healthier lives because they are not always succumbing to stress.  Likewise, Colin and I cannot sit around worrying about all the factors affecting our lives right now that are out of our control or else we would physically wear out because of the stress.  Instead, we choose to celebrate small victories and focus on the good things that are happening to us every day.

Our family is living on a cloud with a silver lining.  I know, I know.  So cliche.  Don't be hatin' because we have things figured out.  We just realize that this is the best way to play the cards we have been dealt.

Yes, I could have lost my life.  But I didn't and I appreciate life even more now.  No, Colin and I will never see Jackson being born.  However, he made it out safe and what we consider perfect. :)  Of course, we have good times and bad times right now.  You would think we are taking it day-by-day, but we are actually taking it hour-by-hour at this point.  Our marriage is stronger because we are facing this together and working as a team.  Someone is always the buffer.  Someone is always working hard to be nice and considerate.  Everything we do now takes consideration that two other people are affected by our actions.  We are better together because of this.

Our first child has come with around the clock care for the first several weeks of his life.  Well, extremely expensive childcare!  We have lactation specialists helping us figure out breastfeeding for more than just a few days.  Jackson has an occupational therapist that far exceeds what a pediatrician can do for us.  We are getting one-on-one child rearing coaching every day that we are here in the NICU.  The fact we are meeting our baby a lot earlier than most people means we are getting a lot more time with these doctors, nurses, and specialists than most people.  These are silver linings.

Staying here at the Ronald McDonald house means we are coexisting with other people in very similar situations.  We are constantly interacting with people who can empathize with our situation.  There always seems to be someone to talk to about how your baby is doing and how they may have handled a similar situation.  It is built-in therapy.  We also are having to coexist with a family in our NICU suite.  There are so many babies in the NICU right now we have to share a room.  Fortunately, we are sharing with wonderful people who are going through everything that we will go through in the upcoming weeks.  They are about two weeks ahead of us and a wealth of NICU knowledge.  Fortunately, they are fun people and we enjoy talking to them as we share the tight quarters of two families in one NICU suite.  Again, silver linings.

I challenge you to find your silver linings today.  Please post how you turned a negative into a positive today in the comment section.  I would love for this blog to be more interactive.

On another positive note, we had several milestones today:

• Jackson latched on this morning just by being placed near breast
• No more IV!  He is getting all of his nutrients from mommy's breast milk.
• First time in a sleeper - he has graduated from Pampers only to clothes
• Oxygen down to 23% (need to get to 21% to go completely off!)
• Significant weight gain - he is now over 4 lbs.
• Tolerated 4 hours of kangaroo time - half with mommy, half with daddy
• Eyes are opening more often - Jackson is starting to visually observe his little world
• Occupational therapist pleased with his development

Monkey