D-Day

Aka: Delivery Day

Today marks a huge milestone in pregnancy number two. Jackson was delivered on this exact day in my pregnancy with him. No, this does not make it Jackson's birthday (that was back on August 6th). It means that I am 33 weeks and 1 day pregnant.

What does this all mean? No matter what happens, from this moment forward I have a better cooked baby! Jackson was medium-rare. We are hoping for medium to well done this time around.

I had a feeling my doctor was wary of this pregnancy, but that was confirmed a few weeks ago. She told me in all honesty that she thought this pregnancy would have progressed with HELLP syndrome rearing its ugly head around 23 or 24 weeks. I am pleased to report I have proved her wrong! Blood work shows that all is well. My blood pressure is fine, I am not swollen at all, and there have been no symptoms other than typical third trimester aches and pains. I love being right.

From this point forward I am entering pregnancy territory that I have never navigated. In fact, I would have been on bed rest for the past six days. Therefore, I have been experiencing pregnancy in a new way since last Wednesday.

I refuse to complain, because the last thing I want is to have another premature baby. However, it would be unrealistic to deny the fact that the next six weeks may be a challenge. Here is a short list of things that have come to mind several time as I ruminate on the next six weeks:

• I may have the honor of being the mama who is so ready for her baby to arrive rather than the mama sitting in the NICU all day for weeks hoping her baby can come home soon because he arrived too early.
• I may bake a baby who is big enough to eat and sleep well when he is born. However, that baby is baking in my belly while I am teaching in a middle school classroom. This ought to get more interesting with each passing week.
• Is it really possible for my belly to get bigger? Did I not get stretch marks the first time around because I did not get bigger than this? Better get some fancy lotion just in case.
• Will we actually get to the scheduled c-section at 39 weeks? Are we going to show up to the hospital prepared with bags packed? "Hi! I am here for my c-section." 
• What if I go into labor in my classroom? That would actually be kind of cool. Freaking out middle school kids is actually pretty fun. I mean, I was the teacher that put a preserved frog in a girl's locker last year and took a video of her reaction. (For the record, she had it coming with her dramatics during dissection.)
• Is this kid going to continue to stand on my pelvic bones and punch my ribs simultaneously? We may need to have a little chat.
• At what point is my stomach going to completely run out of space? How am I going to eat enough food to gain the recommended amount of weight? I can barely stand to eat a full meal now. 
• Tired. Just tired.
• Did I just drop something? Screw it.

All I can say is bring it on! I am up for the challenge. Let's take this pregnancy to term! I love proving people wrong.

The Lucky Ones

AKA: Complete Rookie Parents

Jackson had a febrile seizure on Monday night. Our pediatrician referred to it as the most terrifying, benign diagnosis there is. She is right on.

Around 10 p.m. I heard strange sounds coming from Jackson's room through the monitor. I can't exactly remember if it was a moan, grunt, or something else, but it wasn't a normal crying sound. Watching him on the camera, I could see his legs moving under the covers as if he was kicking them. Instinct alerted me that something wasn't right.

When I got to him there was a substantial amount of saliva in a pool on his pillow and bubbles were coming from his mouth. As I tried to move him, thinking he may vomit, he was completely limp. Lifeless. Couldn't even open his eyes and respond to me.

He was very hot to the touch, so I took his lifeless little body immediately to the tub, stripped him down, and started splashing cool water on his back. Colin called 911 because we had no idea what was going on and needed help ASAP.

The cool water brought him back to life. He started crying (finally, a normal response!) and I pulled him out of the tub and covered him with a towel. All I could do is hold him as he shivered uncontrollably, clenching my finger, crying. While I stayed relatively calm and in control, it still did not occur to me that he may simply have a fever and need some Tylenol.

After what seemed like an eternity, the paramedics arrived. His temperature was 102.6 at that point. After a quick check of his oxygen levels and blood sugar they diagnosed him with......a fever.

In my limited experience with first responders, I have found them to be extremely kind and empathetic. They never questioned why we called them or even asked why it did not occur to us that common knowledge states that a fever needs Tylenol. I felt grateful and extremely humbled at the same time.

To explain, I was grateful that they were not worried. Jackson had a fever and no other signs of life-threatening issues. We were not going on an ambulance ride. It was similar to my experience in the NICU: scary, but I knew everything was going to be okay.

I was humbled because despite his rough start to life, Jackson has been the picture of health. He has been to the doctor twice outside of his well baby checks. Both times he had an ear infection, but you would have never known because the kid is tough and doesn't complain. We have been so lucky thus far, perhaps we needed a little wake up call so we won't be in shock if Jackson's brother has more health issues than he has.

In the end, Jackson picked up a late summer virus and is likely on the road back to good health. A fever with no other symptoms is apparently common this time of year and every day his fever is getting lower and easier to manage. The doctor is confident that he is fine; no permanent damage done other than the flashbacks and lingering mental anguish experienced by me and Colin. Hopefully a full night's sleep is in our near future. And by the way, Jackson, thanks for waiting until the first week of school to get sick!

All of this being said, I feel like this has been another case of "Why does no one tell you this can happen?" So, for all the other rookie parents who may read this, here is some helpful information for you:

• Tylenol is not proven to prevent febrile seizures. Apparently, even if I had given him Tylenol before bed Monday night, his body would have likely responded to the virus the same way.
• Febrile seizures that last less than five minutes (five minutes!?!?) are more common than you would think and rarely cause any permanent damage. Your child's risk of epilepsy may be slightly elevated, but really only if it runs in the family. Otherwise, it is a "normal" immune response and your kid will likely either never have one again or grow out of having them.
• The cool water on the back worked for Jackson. I am not sure if it works for everyone, every time, but it may be worth a try. Keep in mind, cool/lukewarm water, not cold water. If they start to shiver after cover them up. The shivering causes the body to work harder and can actually increase the temperature.
• Viruses sometimes have no symptoms other than a fever. If your kid is perking back up after you bring the temperature down and every day they get better, you are likely dealing with a virus and things are going to be okay in a few days. If things get progressively worse, you are most likely dealing with a bacterial infection and need to seek medical care ASAP.
• Febrile seizures are damn scary and I would not wish this on anyone. Holding your seemingly lifeless child in your arms is exactly as you would imagine if you have not experienced it. Terrifying. My advice, try to stay calm and bring the temperature down. 
• When in doubt, call 911. That is what they are there for. Attractive paramedics in your bedroom while you are in your jammies is as embarrassing as it sounds, but it is not about you.
• Cherish every day that your child is healthy and feeling well. Snuggle them as much as you can, in sickness and in health. Bacteria, viruses, and accidents are lurking around every corner, and all you can do is try to find a balance between protecting your child and letting life happen. 

Despite this scary little bump in the road, we are still the lucky ones. We have a happy, healthy, "normal" little boy. My heart crumbles for parents of sick children. I can't imagine how awful it would be to have a child with chronic and/or life-threatening illness. As a parent, all you want is to take the pain and sickness for them and you can't.

All I can hope is that when baby #2 arrives, we can still be the lucky ones. A sick boy makes for a sad mommy.

Conversations with a Fetus

This post could also be titled "Exactly Like the First Time, Except Completely Different, Part II".

These are conversations I find myself having with my unborn son. Sometimes these things are said aloud (sad, I know), but most of the time these are thoughts that I hope he can hear since we are currently physically connected.

• Excuse me child, but that is my bladder you are constantly resting on! Believe it or not, I actually have other things to do than urinate. Just kidding baby! It's not your fault. Your brother stretched mommy's tummy muscles out and now I can't support you as well in all your fetal glory.
• Awesome! Another Braxton Hicks contraction! I mean, of course I should get these every time I go from resting to standing. After all, you are sitting directly on my pelvis. I am pretty sure you are in the birthing position at this point. You do know we still have 12 weeks to go, right?
• Pardon me, but those are my ribs. As fun as it may be to stretch out as far as you can and run your fingers/toes across them, mommy looks a little crazy when she jumps out of her seat for seemingly no reason. While we are on the topic of ribs, when you stretch out and slowly push on them it feels like a balloon inflating in there. Cut it out!
• Have you noticed how mommy is so smart she has learned to sit on the toilet BEFORE sneezing? Yup, brilliant!
• Sorry Jackson is giving you kisses and petting you again. I am not sure if "baby kiss" and "baby pet" are happening because he truly loves you and wants to say hello or if it is just another way to physically assault mommy. Either way, he can't feel it when you try to kick him back. Only I can.
• Sorry about the one piece of spicy tuna sushi I ate the other day. Oh, and the half can of Pepsi is also not recommended. I am pretty sure you are a tough boy. You can handle it big guy!
• Oh, looks like the nausea is back. Cool. I will do my best to try and eat healthy little buddy, but at this point you are going to have to take what I can stomach. I apologize for any inconvenience the gagging after meals causes you. I will try not to actively vomit so you at least get some nutrients out of the deal.
• Sorry if it is a little warm in here, but we are going to sit in this bath a little longer. I am not ready to put forth the effort it is going to take to reach a standing position from here.
• That is really neat that you can do a full somersault in mommy's belly! Now, please take note that we are supposed to sleep at night. If you could limit your gymnastics to daytime hours, that would be great.
• Speaking of sleep, since mommy has to sleep on her side, please work on finding a way to make this a comfortable way to rest for you as well. I could be wrong, but it feels like you are standing up on the bed next to me doing the "Watch Me" dance the minute I lay down to sleep. Lets take it down a notch, mmkay? Kind of a light sleeper here.
• So, we are starting our third trimester in just a few days. Apparently, mommy is going to grow more uncomfortable and tired. Plus, school starts in a few weeks so we are going to be busy! Please keep in mind, I need you to stay in there and bake for at least 9 more weeks if you are going to come out done. No matter how much I complain, don't try and get out of there! Stay put until all of your organs are ready to function on their own. Trust me, it is better in there than in the hospital. I can't wait to meet you, but full term is our goal here buddy!

XOXO,

Mommy

The Toddler Owner's Manual

Ah, the toddler years.

What am I saying? This is just the beginning!

After a quick Google search today prompted by a shocking diaper, I ordered this:

Arriving at Morrison Manor July 1st!

I can't wait to start reading about trouble-shooting and system maintenance. I typically order my books on Kindle, but I feel strongly that a hard copy of this manual is necessary. I am encouraged by the reviews and I am sure my own is coming soon. From what I can tell, this book is written with humor and formatted as a reference manual. It sounds exactly like what I need right now.

It is a little shocking that people don't voluntarily offer information about raising a son through his toddler years. While it is comforting when my mommy friends give the familiar nod and reassure me that Jackson is a completely normal boy, I feel a little betrayed when I realize they didn't warn me! Frankly, I feel it is the responsibility of boy mommies to share this information unprompted and give sufficient time for the up-and-coming boy mommies to be prepared. 

I know, I know. There are blogs and websites all over the Internet with this information. However, I spend a significant amount of time chasing my kid (and puppy) so I don't have a ton of down time available for browsing the web.

So, here is my contribution to the boy mommies that read my blog (if there are any). I am sure little girls do many of these things, but I do not have first-hand experience in the female toddler. 

Things I wish I was told in advance:

• The penis is a toy. Once it is discovered, good luck keeping a diaper on your boy. Also, toddlers can give themselves an erection. Try to be patient and not freak out.
• Being naked and chased by mommy is a fun game.
• You will be physically assaulted and violated all day, every day. The good news is, for every slap, hit, and punch, there is a hug or kiss waiting to be enjoyed.
• Toddler boys eat all day. Prepare to always have a new and exciting snack/meal available. You will spend a significant chunk of your day preparing food, monitoring intake, and cleaning up.
• That being said, prepare for food to be a favorite one day and shunned the next. You will waste a lot of food if you are not willing to eat it yourself.
• Blueberries cause poop to look like black dirt. Your son is not dying from GI bleeding. Relax.
• One day your boy is a well-behaved, cuddly little angel. The next he will be on a personal mission to make your life difficult. Toddlers are little people who have good days and bad days. Be prepared to be kept on your toes at all times.

A few things I am figuring out:

• Potty training requires infinite patience and a lot of time spent sitting on the bathroom floor. Apparently, getting dressed/undressed and getting on/off the potty is part of training. 
• Buy pull ups before you start potty training; they are worth it. 
• Don't bother dressing your son if you are not leaving the house (unless it is really cold). This cuts down on laundry and multiple outfit changes throughout the day.
• Toddlers are capable of doing "chores". They want to help if you give them recognition for their accomplishments. Ideas: pick up toys, fetch various items (helps with their vocabulary), wipe up spills, put waste in the trash can, put cups/plates/silverware in the sink when done, let the dogs out/in. The possibilities are endless!
• Water is the greatest thing ever. Good luck conserving water in a drought situation. Don't even try when it is hot outside; you will lose.
• Speaking of water, invest in a water table. Hours of entertainment. 
• Other fun water ideas that can benefit you: let them stand in the tub and play with a cup and cold running water while you tidy up the bathroom, use the garden hose (sorry dogs!) for various watering tasks, and let them help with the dishes using lukewarm water (make this work for you!).
• While routine is good, doing the same thing every day is boring. Always attempt to plan around the afternoon nap (but be flexible!) but try and make every day new and exciting. This will help your toddler be more adventurous and flexible (so far).

A lot of people are posting articles and blogs about toddlers on my Facebook feed right now, which is actually quite helpful for me. One thing I read that has really stuck with me is about not apologizing for your toddler's behavior when they are acting like a toddler. They are not built to share, keep their hands to themselves, stay still, be quiet, consider other's feelings, or understand consequences. However, they are little sponges and are learning so much if you are willing to teach them.

Jackson is amazing. It is so fun watching him figure out the world around him. He wants to be a good boy, but he can't always pull it off. Sometimes that happens at home, sometimes it is in public. All I can do is go with the flow and love him despite the challenges we face together. As a middle school teacher, I have learned patience over the past five years. However, Jackson has taught me what patience looks like in the face of the person who has your heart.

A friend told me the other day that 18 months - 3 years was her favorite time with her boys, but it was also the hardest. So far, I concur.

Mac & Cheese! (current favorite)

Halfway There! (Hopefully)

We had our 20 week ultrasound this morning. Everything is just dandy!

Colin asked me last week if I was worried after I expressed my frustration that I could not get in for an ultrasound before our Seattle trip. Worried? Of course not! What could I possibly be worried about?

• Cleft palate
• Club foot
• Intestines outside of the body
• Baby measuring too small/not growing properly
• Spina bifida
• No heartbeat
• Deformations of the heart
• Brain tumor
• Missing limbs
• No amniotic fluid
• Unhealthy placenta

Shall I go on?

Hell yes I was worried! Mainly because I was not feeling this baby as much as I was feeling Jackson around this time. Come to find out, the placenta is positioned at the front of my uterus, preventing me from feeling the baby kick my stomach. This explains why I am really only feeling him down low and only on occasion. 

That being said, I have to believe every pregnant woman is worried at least some of the time. It is a miracle that we can grow a human inside of us. The idea that everything is going right seems a little extraordinary.

So here we are. Halfway there! According to the size of the baby, I am 20 weeks and 1 day along in my pregnancy. Best case scenario, I remain healthy and the baby comes at 37 weeks or later once my body starts to naturally labor. I have every reason to believe that I can have a normal, healthy pregnancy and not end with HELLP syndrome again. At this point I have to put the worst case scenario out of my mind. Am I worried? Of course! Am I optimistic? Hell yes!

Pregnancy is a rollercoaster. I have to be thankful that the constant gagging, nausea, headaches, and fatigue are gone for the most part. I feel a lot better. In fact, some days I feel downright fantastic! Other days, not so much. For one thing, I am not getting any smaller. Also, I find myself trudging more than walking sometimes, which I am sure is irritating for the person who is trying to reach a destination with me in a normal amount of time. Fortunately, I am on summer break and now I can take some time in the afternoons to kick back and put my feet up while Jackson naps. 

Perhaps I should also take a moment to reflect on the fact that I have a loving, understanding, and accommodating husband who puts up with the craziness of a pregnant wife. Also, I have to admit that Jackson is pretty much a little angel. Don't get me wrong, he is a typical toddler and exhibits the unpredictable and often times noisy behaviors you would expect from an almost two year old boy, bless his heart. However, he is so lovable, funny, and entertaining that expending the extra energy it takes to care for a toddler while pregnant is actually an absolute joy and I am so happy right now to be enjoying summer with him. 

So for now, all is well. Time for the second act. Happy thoughts and positive energy from this point forward. 

Baby #2 - aka: Gummy Bear (actual name TBD)

Thankfully

Halfway there bump!

Jackson's First Haircut

Should a kid who is not yet two ride a strider?

Helping mommy with cousin Grayson (big brother in training!)

Admiring cousin Grayson

Being a two-year-old with Auntie Beth's eyeliner

This little angel sat in his seat for 2.5 hours straight at his first baseball game!

Outnumbered

Well, if you haven't heard (or did not figure out Colin's somewhat confusing and cryptic post)....

It's a boy!

I know, I am shocked too. Considering how sick I have been this time around, I was certain a little girl had taken over my body. I actually said, "Are you sure?" when the nurse congratulated me on my second boy. Considering it has been determined by a chromosomal genetic test, it is 100% positive that gummy bear is a boy.

Therefore, it is official: I am outnumbered.

Even our dogs are boys! To be fair, I wanted to get a female Boston when we got Murphy Redd, but she was already taken. I tried.

Despite the fact I was prepared for a new adventure with a little girl, I am actually very excited that I am baking a little brother for Jackson. It will be fun having two boys; brothers who can play and hopefully form a brotherly bond for life.

Several people have said that I seem like a boy's mommy. I am not completely sure what that means, but I take it as a compliment. Maybe it is because I like to play outside and don't mind a little dirt. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I am not a fan of girl drama (even through I deal with it often as a middle school teacher). I think Colin said it best when he pointed out that I am not a "girly girl".

So, here I am. Completely outnumbered. The newest member of the "Mommy to Boys Club". I look forward to frequent trips to the ER, lots of trucks, cars, and legos, and spending an extraordinary about of time playing outside.

Actually, it sounds pretty fun!

The Year of the Princess

Now that the pregnancy is public, the big questions are:

• Are you going to find out the gender?
• When are you going to find out?
• Are you going to share?
• What do you want it to be?
• What is Colin going to do if it is a girl?

I am only half-serious about the last one. Yes, Colin wants another boy, but he really just wants a healthy pregnancy and baby. In my opinion, he has no idea if he wants a girl or not. Honestly, I think the concept of having a girl is a little foreign at this point. There is no reason to even think about it seriously until it is a reality.

Some people have said, "Colin deserves a girl." Not sure what that means, but it seems a little mean...

I know it is a canned answer, but all I really want is a healthy baby as well. We have been so fortunate that Jackson is so healthy, all I hope for is a repeat (minus the premature status if possible!). I already have the perfect little boy that I always wanted. I can honestly say I am super-excited either way. Another boy would be fun because Jackson would have a little brother to roughhouse with (rather than continue to physically assault me and the poor dogs). On the other hand, there is a lot of testosterone in my house, so a little girl would be a welcome change of pace.

Plus, aren't girls really good sleepers, mellow, and mild-tempered as babies? Right? Anyone?

Oh yea, about the gender. I had the MaterniT21 test done on Wednesday. This is a genetic test they recommend to old people who are pregnant (aka: anyone 35 and older - we are A.M.A. - advanced material age). Apparently, my baby's DNA is floating around in my blood, so if they suck enough out of me they can analyze my baby's chromosomes. In addition to determining if we have any genetic defects to worry about (Trisomy 18 & 21, Klinefelter, etc.), they can also see if I am building and baking an XX or XY human.

If you ask me, it is XX all the way. I don't say this because I necessarily want a girl (I only kind of do). I say this because this pregnancy feels so different. That is my scientific reasoning.

The validity of my scientific reasoning will be determined late next week.

Of course, the big news today is that a princess was born. How does this apply to our situation? I will explain:

• Colin and I got married in 2011, a few months after William and Kate. 
• Jackson came in 2013, a few weeks after Prince George was born. 
• Now, we are due in 2015, a few months after Princess __(?)__ came along.

I told Colin things weren't looking so good for him.....

I am sure I will look as fantastic as Kate does a few hours after childbirth. My hair and makeup team will be on standby.

(Yeah. And monkeys might fly out of my butt.)