The Toddler Owner's Manual

Ah, the toddler years.

What am I saying? This is just the beginning!

After a quick Google search today prompted by a shocking diaper, I ordered this:

Arriving at Morrison Manor July 1st!

I can't wait to start reading about trouble-shooting and system maintenance. I typically order my books on Kindle, but I feel strongly that a hard copy of this manual is necessary. I am encouraged by the reviews and I am sure my own is coming soon. From what I can tell, this book is written with humor and formatted as a reference manual. It sounds exactly like what I need right now.

It is a little shocking that people don't voluntarily offer information about raising a son through his toddler years. While it is comforting when my mommy friends give the familiar nod and reassure me that Jackson is a completely normal boy, I feel a little betrayed when I realize they didn't warn me! Frankly, I feel it is the responsibility of boy mommies to share this information unprompted and give sufficient time for the up-and-coming boy mommies to be prepared. 

I know, I know. There are blogs and websites all over the Internet with this information. However, I spend a significant amount of time chasing my kid (and puppy) so I don't have a ton of down time available for browsing the web.

So, here is my contribution to the boy mommies that read my blog (if there are any). I am sure little girls do many of these things, but I do not have first-hand experience in the female toddler. 

Things I wish I was told in advance:

• The penis is a toy. Once it is discovered, good luck keeping a diaper on your boy. Also, toddlers can give themselves an erection. Try to be patient and not freak out.
• Being naked and chased by mommy is a fun game.
• You will be physically assaulted and violated all day, every day. The good news is, for every slap, hit, and punch, there is a hug or kiss waiting to be enjoyed.
• Toddler boys eat all day. Prepare to always have a new and exciting snack/meal available. You will spend a significant chunk of your day preparing food, monitoring intake, and cleaning up.
• That being said, prepare for food to be a favorite one day and shunned the next. You will waste a lot of food if you are not willing to eat it yourself.
• Blueberries cause poop to look like black dirt. Your son is not dying from GI bleeding. Relax.
• One day your boy is a well-behaved, cuddly little angel. The next he will be on a personal mission to make your life difficult. Toddlers are little people who have good days and bad days. Be prepared to be kept on your toes at all times.

A few things I am figuring out:

• Potty training requires infinite patience and a lot of time spent sitting on the bathroom floor. Apparently, getting dressed/undressed and getting on/off the potty is part of training. 
• Buy pull ups before you start potty training; they are worth it. 
• Don't bother dressing your son if you are not leaving the house (unless it is really cold). This cuts down on laundry and multiple outfit changes throughout the day.
• Toddlers are capable of doing "chores". They want to help if you give them recognition for their accomplishments. Ideas: pick up toys, fetch various items (helps with their vocabulary), wipe up spills, put waste in the trash can, put cups/plates/silverware in the sink when done, let the dogs out/in. The possibilities are endless!
• Water is the greatest thing ever. Good luck conserving water in a drought situation. Don't even try when it is hot outside; you will lose.
• Speaking of water, invest in a water table. Hours of entertainment. 
• Other fun water ideas that can benefit you: let them stand in the tub and play with a cup and cold running water while you tidy up the bathroom, use the garden hose (sorry dogs!) for various watering tasks, and let them help with the dishes using lukewarm water (make this work for you!).
• While routine is good, doing the same thing every day is boring. Always attempt to plan around the afternoon nap (but be flexible!) but try and make every day new and exciting. This will help your toddler be more adventurous and flexible (so far).

A lot of people are posting articles and blogs about toddlers on my Facebook feed right now, which is actually quite helpful for me. One thing I read that has really stuck with me is about not apologizing for your toddler's behavior when they are acting like a toddler. They are not built to share, keep their hands to themselves, stay still, be quiet, consider other's feelings, or understand consequences. However, they are little sponges and are learning so much if you are willing to teach them.

Jackson is amazing. It is so fun watching him figure out the world around him. He wants to be a good boy, but he can't always pull it off. Sometimes that happens at home, sometimes it is in public. All I can do is go with the flow and love him despite the challenges we face together. As a middle school teacher, I have learned patience over the past five years. However, Jackson has taught me what patience looks like in the face of the person who has your heart.

A friend told me the other day that 18 months - 3 years was her favorite time with her boys, but it was also the hardest. So far, I concur.

Mac & Cheese! (current favorite)