Sunday, October 27, 2013

Did you mean to flood the bathroom?

Ah, new mommyhood.  A time of overwhelming joy, intense love, and complete absentmindedness.

Starting the task is not the problem.  The issue is completing the task.

Unfortunately, a simple question that starts with "Did you mean to...." can elicit astounding offense like nothing you have ever seen before.  To add fuel to the fire, I leave a trail of opportunities to ask that innocent question behind me wherever I go.  I would say 99.9% of the time the answer to the question is no.

Examples of things I do not mean to do include:

  • Leaving the water running in a bin of pump parts and bottles and flooding the bathroom
  • Putting dish soap in the dishwasher (anyone who has experienced this knows what a sudsy mess this creates)
  • Pumping milk onto my lap because I have not attached the containers to the pump
  • Starting a load of laundry and leaving it in the washer to mildew
  • Failing to handle a mountain of medical bills
  • Picking up the mail
  • Leaving the oven on
  • Leaving a burner on
  • Leaving food items that need to be refrigerated out on the counter
  • Leaving the space heater and/or vaporizer on in the bedroom
  • Leaving the space heater on in the nursery
  • Leaving the container of baby wipes open so they dry out
  • Abandoning a variety of items purchased at the store in my car (including groceries)
  • Opening the dishwasher full of clean dishes to get one out and leaving the rest inside so dirty dishes inevitably join them and create dish confusion (just start the damn thing over!)
  • Letting the dog(s) out and forgetting to let them back in
  • Neglecting to water the plants
  • Feeding and hydrating myself
Anyone who has taken care of a newborn understands.  Nearly every time I start doing something that requires two hands, I am interrupted by the unmistakeable sound of my neglected baby.  In a perfect world, I would go back and complete the task at the next available moment.  Instead, I find myself forgetting what I was doing and starting a new task.  Sadly, I have no one to blame except myself.

Let me explain.

A few short weeks ago Jackson was a sleepy little newborn.  I would consistently have two to three hours a few times a day to get things done while he took a nap.  Unfortunately, I was still trying to get used to being sleep deprived and I spent a lot of those precious blocks of time resting (or staring into space in a fog).  Now that he is a curious little guy who spends most of the day awake and demanding my full attention I am in a bit of a pickle.  Don't get me wrong; I love how alert and responsive he has become.  It is way more fun interacting with him now that he is not constantly eating or sleeping.  However, he is not into "alone time" just yet and I have a lot on my plate that I cannot easily get done.  If only I realized how fleeting that precious nap time was.....

To all the wonderful, supportive fathers out there just trying to help, please keep in mind that your innocent question that starts with "Did you mean to....?" is dangerous territory.  Clearly sleep deprivation and a shift in the brain that allows women to focus on nurturing their child causes seriously moronic mistakes.  Of course she did not intend to leave the oven on all day.  It is not cold outside and there is not a large piece of animal needing to slow cook all day.  She is tired and way more busy throughout the day than you would think.

No, I did not mean to flood the bathroom.  I also did not mean to leave the large pile of mildewing towels used to clean up the flood sitting on the bathroom floor.  It just happens.

As you may have guessed, I started this blog post several days ago.  It just took a while to complete.  I know, shocking.....



No comments:

Post a Comment