"Is she seriously suggesting that one should travel with a toddler?" you ask.
Well, yes. I think you should at least consider it. Especially if you get a family vacation out of it. At the risk of sounding pretentious, my toddler has been on trips that required plane rides four times and he has been out of the country three times so far. We have also traveled significant distances by car several times and have lived to tell the tales.
Was it easy? Hell no.
Was it worth it? Absolutely!
While there are many (many many many) reasons NOT to travel with a toddler, I will attempt put a spin on some of these reasons (excuses) and at least get you thinking you may reconsider.
1. I would travel with my toddler, but it will get them out of their routine.
You are correct. Your toddler is going to be all jacked up. The hard-earned and consistent (lucky!) nap times and possibly even bed times will go right out the window. The strict diet you have imposed on your little for the benefit of their health will be long-forgotten (that is, unless you pack all your food supplies, in which case you should just stay home - you may be insane).
Here's the deal. Perhaps your toddler needs to get out of the routine that you have worked so hard for. Toddlers who are too dependent on routine will not handle change very well. Maybe a little change every once in a while will help them grow into a healthy, well-adjusted kid who can go with the flow. So what if they did not get a nap and get a little cranky in the evening? Use that opportunity to put them to bed a little early and do some adulting. Who cares if they stay up past their bed time because you are out of town and out of sorts? Let them have a little fun since they are going to be a disaster anyway. So your toddler had gelato again for dinner? Well, we all indulge a little on vacation.
Just know this, your little terrorist is going to go back to their routine again once you are back home. Sure, it may take some work and a few days but if you are doing things right, your trip was worth it.
2. I would travel with my toddler, but our destination requires a plane ride.
In my experience, there are two types of people on airplanes:
1) Empathetic/sympathetic (do you know the difference?) people who will give you looks of encouragement and even try to engage and distract your toddler from their inevitable meltdown.
2) *Intolerant people who will shoot you death glares if they even hear a peep from your family and may even threaten the life of you and/or your child if they struggle to maintain silence (true story).
Either way, you can rest assured that you are the winner. Why? You are brave and refuse to let a possibly unpleasant ride deter you from your destination. To expect families to cease travel to accommodate the intolerant people in the world is unrealistic. Unfortunately, some people do not live in the same place as their grandchildren. Should they be deprived of visits from them because some people can't stand to hear a toddler get upset? Should families avoid vacations to spare others the high-pitch screeches of a toddler who refuses to wear a seat belt during take off? I think not.
The fact of the matter is, travel on commercial airlines is public transportation. You never know who you will end up sitting next to. To say toddlers should not be permitted to subject fellow passengers to their reign of terror would be the same thing as saying people who cannot take social cues and force others into unwanted conversation should not be permitted to purchase a ticket. From what I have seen, experienced travelers will put on noise cancelling headphones and go to their happy place when their hearing is assaulted by other passengers. Death glares tend to come from the asshats who paid $50 to upgrade to first class and think they are entitled to silence because of their monetary indulgence. Enjoy your free cocktails and marginal meal and try to keep your ridiculous expectations at bay. All you are managing to do with your judgmental comments and evil stares is look like a jerk.
I say, get on that plane! In fact, we even use miles to ride up front with the experienced travelers and asshats knowing that we are treading in dangerous waters simply because we need the extra room. If the sound of my angry and insolent toddler bothers you and you don't have ear plugs or headphones, sorry about your failure to travel intelligently. Have another drink on me. If you are that important, choose private transportation next time.
Finally, a special shout out to the kind travelers and flight attendants for all your sympathy and help. I will be forever grateful and will always pay it forward as my children grow older and become good travelers because I wasn't scared to let them learn how to behave.
*Note: Everyone should be intolerant of parents who make no attempt to soothe and subdue hysterical children. These people are also asshats and should not be permitted to travel. Unfortunately, the airlines have no way of screening for these people even though they are pretty much terrorists.
3. I would travel with my toddler, but I don't want to expose them to sickness.
People have looked at me like I am insane when I have mentioned that we have taken our boys to Mexico as infants and toddlers. Why do people think we are more likely to fall ill in other countries, particularly Mexico? Jackson has been to Mexico three times, starting at four months old. We took Carter when he was only five weeks old and not even vaccinated yet. Neither one got sick. At all.
I will tell you where my boys get sick:
- Day care
- Local establishments where kids can play indoors (Bendites, you know where I am referring to - if you have been to either place I am talking about your kids have come home with the plague)
- Family gatherings with other kids
- Any place where they are around other kids
4. I would travel with my toddler, but it will be too stressful.
Oh, for sure! If you go into a trip/vacation thinking it will include a toddler and be stress-free, you are a moron. (sorry - it's true)
Here's the deal. If you never get out of your comfort zone, you will never really appreciate how easy life is with the creature comforts of home.
First, the stress will start with packing. Once you have to pare your life down to what will fit in a suitcase or car, you will realize how much stuff you depend on to take care of your kid. Then, you have to get to your destination. Be it a plane or car, you will certainly encounter stressful situations that you have to deal with. Finally, few accommodations (hotel, condo, vacation home, etc.) will be as child-proof as your own home. The stress of keeping your curious and busy toddler safe and out of trouble will be exhausting. For example, maybe you have chosen an amazing vacation rental that has a water hazard on three out of the four levels of the home. In fact, one of the hazards may be a water fountain flush with the floor (you can literally step right in) right outside of your toddler's room. Just lock them in their room at night and call it a day (yes, true story).
All of that being said, until you experience these situations and get through them, you will never appreciate how easy you really have it in your comfortable little world at home. Also, this is a perfect chance to truly be a team with your husband/wife/partner. When you come together and deal with an excessive amount of vomit all over your toddler and in every nook and cranny of their car seat using only baby wipes on the side of a highway while being attacked by bees (again, true story), you can be confident that together you can deal with just about anything.
I can assure you, after a trip/vacation with your toddler, you will appreciate the space you have set up in the comfort of your own home. Suddenly, a day at home chasing your toddler around is not so bad.
These are just a few reasons you may think you should not travel with your toddler but why you really should. We just got back from ten days in Mexico and while it turns out ten days straight with your toddler is a bit much, (thank goodness for day care - another thing you can appreciate once you get home) the memories we made were certainly worth getting out of our routine, multiple plane rides, and the stress that comes with any travel. I would, and plan to do it again in a heartbeat. My hope is that my sons grow up to be great travelers as a result.
Memories from Sayulita 2015:
Family pic before boarding the long flight. Take off was awful for Jackson, but he was great for the rest of the flight. Colin wins Dad of the year for enduring that one.
Travel Suggestions: Wrap new toys, have plenty of snacks, and use iPad videos and games on your phone for toddler entertainment. Also, be prepared with more stuff for the flight home. Keep in mind you cannot find graham crackers or Tree Top Fruit Snacks during your stay in Mexico (so save some for the flight home!).
Our boys love vacation!
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