Flying with a Toddler

It took a few weeks to recover from the trauma. Now, I think I am ready to talk about it.

I think.

Our family does not buy in to the idea that life has to revolve around the toddler. For example, we still insist on going out to eat occasionally. Of course, in the moment we find ourselves asking why we would make this decision. Jackson is certainly not interested in sitting still and enjoying meaningful conversation and a meal. Inevitably, one of us is frantically eating while the other is chasing Jackson as he is playing "restaurant manager", visiting people at their tables as they eat.

Why would travel be any different? If we make the conscious decision to eat with our little monkey in public, why would we hesitate to take him on a plane to a different country?

To be fair, we booked our plane tickets seven months in advance and our accommodations about a month in advance. Clearly we had hesitations.

What can I say? We are adventurous people!

The flight to Mexico was pretty uneventful. At least I think it was. Looking back, the flight home was so traumatizing I think I may have forgotten what happened on the flight there. Let's just say, Jackson was not interested in reason or politeness on the way home. He was tired and bored, and if he is not happy no one is.

Rather than dwell on the past I prefer to learn from the experience. Despite the misery experienced by us and everyone around us, I am ready to do it again. Vacation trumps all!

If you are planning on flying with a toddler, here are some words of advice spoken from recent experience:

1. Do not count on a nap. In fact, holding out for the nap on the plane is a fatal error. Once the kid is overtired, there will be hell to pay. Perhaps you have the golden child who will fall fast asleep the minute the plane moves. If so, good for you. We did not have that experience. The plane is not a comfortable place for a nap, so don't get your hopes up.
2. Technology is your friend. I know the data says technology is bad for little people, but if you don't have the iPad and iPhone loaded up with apps that the kid knows how to use, good luck to you.
3. Snacks. Enough said.
4. Claim the milk on the plane immediately. The flight attendants would rather know you need it than give it away to someone else and pay the price with you.
5. If a flight attendant offers to serve the cabin while holding your child, say yes. This person is an angel sent from above to relive you from the screaming and squirming. In addition to silencing your toddler since they are now part of the action, this is also putting a face to the incessant screaming the other passengers have been enduring. All of the sudden, the screaming toddler is a star. However, keep in mind that said toddler will most certainly not be willing to go back to their seat now, so the flight attendant must be prepared to bounce the kid to sleep.
6. Beware of the people who gave you the hairy eyeball and made not-so-subtle comments at the beginning of the flight and then all the sudden think your kid is "so adorable". These people are now well-lubricated and will inevitably be source of the the loud noises that will wake up the offending toddler when they finally fall asleep. True story. Grrr.
7. Finally, keep in mind that this situation is temporary and will end once the plane lands. Sure, it will be the longest stretch of time in recent memory, but it will eventually be over.

If you are that person who is completely intolerant of unhappy children on planes, I will assume you do not have children of your own. If you plan on having kids one day, start trying to empathize now. I assure you it will be good for your karma. Trust me, you will need/want a vacation like a normal person. Plus, vacations can be some of the best memories you will make with your family.

If you are never going to have kids please do us (parents) a favor. Travel with earplugs and try your best to hide your distain and judgement. Someone has to create and parent the next generation.