Exactly Like The First Time, Except Completely Different

Here we go again!

I am in the process of making Jackson a sibling, from scratch. I spent some time reading my posts from when he was born. This is the reason I started this blog; to document the joy and pain of having a child.

I am confident we have made the right decision.

Pregnancy is a funny thing. I had a lovely pregnancy with Jackson. Other than some fatigue in the first trimester, a small bout of nausea around dinner time for a few weeks, a broken leg, excessively swollen feet, and some random pain here and there, I really enjoyed being pregnant.

They say (whoever "they" are) that each pregnancy is different. I concur.

I actually knew I was pregnant early in the morning on Friday, February 27th. Actually, I take that back. I initially thought I had the flu OR I was dying. I woke up with the chills. I literally felt them run up and down my spine. I dragged myself out of bed to get a sweatshirt and I felt like I might faint. For a second I considered sleeping on Jackson's floor knowing his space heater had that room nice and cozy. I kept waiting for the fever to come.....

I woke up feeling nauseous, icky, and overall very fluish. The fever never came so I schlepped Jackson to day care and got myself to school. I sat in a fog wondering what I had done to deserve this. I have a toddler, isn't that hard enough? Now I am going to die and leave my family behind?

Then it hit me.

I am pregnant. I have to go get a pregnancy test, now.

As a family, we had tentatively decided that maybe we could do it all again to give Jackson a sibling. Well, to be fair, Jackson really didn't have a choice in the matter. Our tentative plan was apparently a go. I got the very faint positive and I knew this was it.

Then it hit me.

This does not feel good. How am I going to pull this off?

I find that looking at the humor in an otherwise difficult situation is the easiest way to get through. So here is the raw and honest truth about a second pregnancy (so far).

Your Second Pregnancy: Exactly Like The First Time, Except Completely Different

Thinking about having another little angel? Here is the honest truth.

• Your friends who had lovely, easy, glowing pregnancies multiple times are the exceptions to the rule. Next time they tell you they would consider being a surrogate because it was so easy, throw up on their shoe. It will make you feel better. Promise.
• Taking care of a toddler while you are pregnant is a large part of your new challenge. Gone are the days when you come home from work in your first trimester and take a nap. A word of advice: go to bed immediately after them. It is your only hope.
• If you have nausea, gagging, and vomiting, be prepared to be mocked by your toddler. Don't take it personally when they mimic your constant gagging sounds.
• *Be prepared to show immediately. It won't really be showing; you are most likely bloated. However, you will look pregnant. Good luck hiding it.
• **Your spouse has "been there, done that". He has seen you through your first pregnancy and you made it through. Do not expect to be treated like the fragile, glowing, pregnancy princess that you were the first time around. He will be much more relaxed and less worried. In fact, you may need to remind him that you are pregnant sometimes. 
• Suck it up; complaining isn't lady-like. I find that the disclaimer "Please assume I feel like a hangover married a flu and I am carrying their child until otherwise notified" gets the point across. No one wants the play-by-play of your physical discomfort.
• Breathe through your mouth when changing dirty diapers. There is no other way to survive this.
• Did you have clear skin in your first pregnancy? Hope you enjoyed that! Welcome to adult acne. Bloated with acne. Good times.
• Pregnancy brain is magnified this time. Yes, it is possible to be even dumber that you were during your first pregnancy. Now you are constantly thinking about your pregnancy while taking care of your first child, working, and trying to hold an adult life together. Good luck, idiot.

Don't worry! It's not all bad!

• The first ultrasound when you see that little heart beating the first time is just a magical and still a huge relief.
• Apparently you CAN love another person as much as you love your first, so don't worry about that.
• Your family will make an effort to act excited even though this isn't the golden child (aka: the first grandchild).
• There will come a time, several years down the road, when your children will play together. I hear you can sometimes sit for 30 minutes at a time doing nothing while they entertain each other. Hopefully this is not a myth.
• You have a lot of the baby gear that you will need (and a lot that you know you don't need). Some of it is even assembled.
• You MAY get to decorate for and dress the opposite gender. That could be a fun new adventure.
• You kind of know what to expect/what you are doing. I don't necessarily think it will be easier, but at least it is not your first rodeo. 

*It is a medical fact that you show earlier (about a month earlier to be exact) in the second pregnancy for two reasons:

1. Your uterus did not shrink down to its original size after your first pregnancy.
2. Your stomach muscles are already stretched out, so they cannot contain your growing uterus like they did the first time around.

**To be fair, Colin has been great. He tries not to laugh at my constant gagging and he has been really helpful with Jackson and housework. I am a lucky gal. 

There will be more to come on this subject. I am sure I am just getting started. 

Here we go!

Our gummy bear four weeks ago (we are officially 12 weeks today):

Flying with a Toddler

It took a few weeks to recover from the trauma. Now, I think I am ready to talk about it.

I think.

Our family does not buy in to the idea that life has to revolve around the toddler. For example, we still insist on going out to eat occasionally. Of course, in the moment we find ourselves asking why we would make this decision. Jackson is certainly not interested in sitting still and enjoying meaningful conversation and a meal. Inevitably, one of us is frantically eating while the other is chasing Jackson as he is playing "restaurant manager", visiting people at their tables as they eat.

Why would travel be any different? If we make the conscious decision to eat with our little monkey in public, why would we hesitate to take him on a plane to a different country?

To be fair, we booked our plane tickets seven months in advance and our accommodations about a month in advance. Clearly we had hesitations.

What can I say? We are adventurous people!

The flight to Mexico was pretty uneventful. At least I think it was. Looking back, the flight home was so traumatizing I think I may have forgotten what happened on the flight there. Let's just say, Jackson was not interested in reason or politeness on the way home. He was tired and bored, and if he is not happy no one is.

Rather than dwell on the past I prefer to learn from the experience. Despite the misery experienced by us and everyone around us, I am ready to do it again. Vacation trumps all!

If you are planning on flying with a toddler, here are some words of advice spoken from recent experience:

1. Do not count on a nap. In fact, holding out for the nap on the plane is a fatal error. Once the kid is overtired, there will be hell to pay. Perhaps you have the golden child who will fall fast asleep the minute the plane moves. If so, good for you. We did not have that experience. The plane is not a comfortable place for a nap, so don't get your hopes up.
2. Technology is your friend. I know the data says technology is bad for little people, but if you don't have the iPad and iPhone loaded up with apps that the kid knows how to use, good luck to you.
3. Snacks. Enough said.
4. Claim the milk on the plane immediately. The flight attendants would rather know you need it than give it away to someone else and pay the price with you.
5. If a flight attendant offers to serve the cabin while holding your child, say yes. This person is an angel sent from above to relive you from the screaming and squirming. In addition to silencing your toddler since they are now part of the action, this is also putting a face to the incessant screaming the other passengers have been enduring. All of the sudden, the screaming toddler is a star. However, keep in mind that said toddler will most certainly not be willing to go back to their seat now, so the flight attendant must be prepared to bounce the kid to sleep.
6. Beware of the people who gave you the hairy eyeball and made not-so-subtle comments at the beginning of the flight and then all the sudden think your kid is "so adorable". These people are now well-lubricated and will inevitably be source of the the loud noises that will wake up the offending toddler when they finally fall asleep. True story. Grrr.
7. Finally, keep in mind that this situation is temporary and will end once the plane lands. Sure, it will be the longest stretch of time in recent memory, but it will eventually be over.

If you are that person who is completely intolerant of unhappy children on planes, I will assume you do not have children of your own. If you plan on having kids one day, start trying to empathize now. I assure you it will be good for your karma. Trust me, you will need/want a vacation like a normal person. Plus, vacations can be some of the best memories you will make with your family.

If you are never going to have kids please do us (parents) a favor. Travel with earplugs and try your best to hide your distain and judgement. Someone has to create and parent the next generation.